#all in all. in reddit speak: everyone sucks here

[scarycranegame]

sometimes even just someone following you feels like them involving you in their weird fucked up personal drama

[ashen-char]

dating amber freeman - hcs

ship: amber freeman (scream) x gender neutral reader

warnings: toxic behaviour (jealousy, possessiveness, etc.), swearing, mentions of canon violence/violent tendencies. this is the more tame of the amber hcs though

notes: this took a while! i was debating on whether to do amber during the movie, or a very toxic nsfw leaning take. those will be separate hcs. thanks to @certifiedpuppyslitter for the help! requested here

✦ amber is alone in her old creepy house a lot. she despises how lonely it feels and often has you over to ignore how empty it is

✧ her parents divorced when she was really young, and her dad got custody. a hotshot lawyer, he's always away, and she's always been distant with her step-mom. amber doesn't like letting people get to know her

✧ amber was a total daddy's girl. she loved to argue even as a kid, loving how people would say she's just like him - whip-smart and could win any argument. she even wanted to be a lawyer to be like him

✧ but he was less and less present, and eventually she stopped hoping he'd be around more. stopped trying to impress him, realising that her accomplishments don't mean he'll say he's proud of her

✧ he's always away on business trips which is why she can invite everyone over as much as she does

✧ parties, sleepovers, movie nights, you name it

✧ amber is very lonely deep down. only child, she doesn't let her best friends truly know her

✦ because of her parents, she had to grow up very quickly and take care of herself

✧ so she's got a lot of surprising skills. really self-sufficient. she cooks amazingly, and likes cooking for you because, as she says "cooking for a single person kinda sucks"

✦ she'd scoff if you ever said she was clingy, since amber likes to act all tough and independent

✧ but it's the truth, amber's happiest when you're spending all your time with her

✧ if it can't be in person, she sits in vc with you on discord

✧ whether amber gets to yap away about her beloved horror movies or the latest band she's into, or listening you talk about your day, or even silence

✧ amber just likes that you're there on the other side

✧ and amber loves to sleep on call

✧ she'd get angry when you leave, even if your phone dies, accusing you of leaving her alone

✧ (but she's kinda easy to win back, all you have to do is promise to watch stab with her, or set aside some time to be "all hers")

✦ speaking of discord, let's be real. amber's a loser

✧ she spends her time on reddit and discord, and on occasion places like twitch, tumblr, or 4chan

✧ it's not her fault! she was online at a very young age cause she was so alone

✧ trying to make friends, trying to fill her time so she wasn't so bored, trying to connect with people. amber was totally on omegle as a kid

✧ she's always arguing with strangers on the internet about her stab theories and how bad it's gotten, how derivative the sequels are, or ranking her favourite killers

✧ she's a mod on r/StabUnfiltered, a smaller subreddit off of the main stab one because she kept getting her comments or posts removed there for being too "inflammatory" or even "trolling" for her hot takes

✧ amber would stop in the middle of hooking up because she was bidding on stab memorabilia on ebay

✧ she'd be pissed all day and it'd be because she lost an auction, or some twitter idiot had a bad take on ghostface motives

✦ amber is on letterboxd 24/7, clocking in like it's a job

✧ whenever you two watch a new movie together, best believe amber is reviewing that shit like she's a critic

✧ and you're the type that just enjoys watching movies for the experience. amber absolutely gets heated at you when she asks what you thought about a movie she thinks is 1/5, and yo shrug and go "eh it was fun i guess?"

✧ but amber lets you off the hook when you kiss her and tell her that you enjoyed it because you enjoyed spending time with her

✦ she's also a loser in love. honestly, she's a bit of a simp for you

✧ love is the one thing where she doesn't try to pretend she's tough

✧ amber has these sweet nicknames for you that she peppers in all the time, ranging from babe, love, hun, sweetie

✧ she's pretty touchy. amber holds your hand under tables or under blankets, rubs your back when she passes you, absentmindedly plays with your hair

✧ amber loves teasing her friends about their relationships, like chad and liv's lack of a sex life, but she'll defend you like a knight if they even try to tease her back

✧ and best believe they tease amber about how whipped she is over you

✧ if you invite her somewhere, even when she's hanging with her group, she'll ditch them in an instant (well, not in an instant. she does always tell tara where she's going)

✧ she flips everyone off if they tease her about you, but internally she's smiling. she loves that they talk about you in relation to her, loves being brought up as a couple

✦ you painted the portraits of amber that she has up in her room

✧ by the next time you came over, she already had them hung up on her walls, bragging to her friends that you did them and how talented you are

✦ possessive

✧ when you dress up for her, she shows you she appreciates it

✧ BUT she also doesn't want anyone else to see you like that

✧ she'll whisk her jacket off and drape it over you, insisting that no one else deserves to even look at you

✦ protective af too

✧ she'd wrap her arm tighter around your waist if people are walking too close, with a fierce glare if they almost bump into you

✧ amber would watch your drink like a hawk at parties

✧ she'd insist on going with you to places if you want to go anywhere at night, and she'd definitely tell you to stay over if it was dark out

✦ gets jealous easily

✧ no looking at other girls, no following other girls on social media

✧ you're in for a huge fight if you dm anyone else, even if it was for something fairly innocuous like asking where they got their outfit

✦ oh and she loves to argue. you swear it turns amber on to fight

✧ she jumps at any excuse for it

✧ "why did that girl smile at you? how do you know her?"

✧ "why are you on your phone? i'm literally right here"

✧ she'd accuse you of ignoring or forgetting about her, then give you the silent treatment

✦ amber gets pissed off when you spend too much time with your friends

✧ and honestly, considering how close she is with her friends, it's hypocritical

✧ like, amber still has sleepovers with tara but god forbid you say you're hanging with any of your friends one on one

✧ amber will be at your door in an instant, claiming that you two made plans and that since she's here, she may as well hang out with you two

✦ sometimes, you don't really get why amber likes you

✧ you can't keep up with her horror movie rants like her friends, or even those weirdos she's always arguing with online

✧ like, amber's dream is to go to film school and she's so passionate about it that you wonder what you're even adding when you just go "you'd be amazing, baby" and "that sounds awesome, of course you're gonna make it"

✧ you try to be supportive but you feel bad that you don't really understand her 100% of the time

✦ when you ask her why she chose you, amber looked at you like you were being ridiculous. because the answer is obvious to her

✧ she likes you because you make everything easier. being with you is one of the few things that can make her mind go quiet

✧ like, yeah, she loves horror but even amber can be drained by how obsessed she gets with things

✧ you make her feel normal. you make her want things other than violence and pain

she doesn't want to throw her life away so bad when you two make plans for the future

✧ she admits that you're the reason she even thought about film school in the first place

✦ amber never really thought of life outside of woodsboro until you started bringing up universities, or apprenticeships, what next year could bring

✧ that's the first time amber actually thought about what she wants to do

✧ and she's wicked smart, so you were surprised that she didn't already know what universities she wanted to apply to

✧ AP classes, honor roll, college scholarships, you name it

✧ but when you ask about her plans, amber just shrugs and says she'll go where you end up going

✦ she can feel like a regular girl when she's around you, instead of all the pretending she normally does

✧  cheesy teenager shit that she always thought she was too good for

✧ dates to the local bowling alley, sneaking out, sharing a shake at the diner, going to the mall, camping, baking brownies for your birthday since she knows you prefer it from cake

✦ with you, amber can feel less damaged. less above it all

✧ she didn't think she was capable of a genuine love like this before you

✧ you make her think that she could be a decent person if she tried, that she's not defined by the monster that she could be

[daisygirlwrites]

Do u have any tips on picking a call sign for a character?

i wasn't exactly sure how to properly answer this but here's the process and advice that i've gotten from pilots and military personnel.

i've been told that callsigns are always made up by other people and it usually involves with something embarrassing. callsigns are basically an inside joke between the person and the people they work with. and most importantly, it's something to help keep the person humble, to not let their ego go to their head.

for my first work that i've posted on here (Rookie Mistake), it serves as an origin story for why I named my oc Crash. in short, homegirl was thrown and crashed through a window.

examples from people i've talked to and reddit:

HASH - during a squad breakfast, one of them came in hungover, ate some hashbrowns and proceeded to throw it up in the parking lot, in front of the whole restaurant

ROBAT - Ran Over By A Truck

DUCKY - His first name is Pato

DJ WAR - Originally called Five Names cause this person had three middle names until someone figured out their initials spelled out DJWAR, hence the cooler name change

STASHE - used to compete in beard competitions before joining the military and overall took really good care of his mustache. Was almost called GROOMER but it got shot down quickly for obvious reasons.

i will also say this, if you give a really cool callsign for your character and backstory for the name, you absolutely can!

some extra thoughts:

a bunch of real life callsigns are acronyms and abbreviations

some callsigns are just silly and not as embarrassing

using the logic and process of callsigns being a picked inside joke, Simon's callsign as Ghost low key has to fucking suck. yeah it's cool that he was given it due to how he moves on the battle field. however, Simon Riley is technically dead, along with his family. in the comics, Tommy would scare him by wearing a skull mask. not only that, Simon was buried alive with the decaying corpse of his former commanding officer. wouldn't want a name that's basically a reminder of all the actual shitty stuff that happened to you.

Gaz makes sense cause it's a short form of his last name.

speaking of, using last names as callsigns are not uncommon. technically, Price's callsign is Bravo Six but everyone calls him by his last name.

Soap is kind of realistic in terms of how he gets his callsign, cause he's known to clean house (hella badass imo)

according to my husband, Bob (Baby on Board), Payback and Fanboy are the most realistic callsigns from Top Gun Maverick.

in short, calls signs are just really creative and sometimes really shitty nicknames. hope this helps!

[starcrossed-sky]

Hey Twitter(/Reddit) alternative seekers

Okay, fandom. Everyone's all worked all the time about this or that new alternative to Twitter and how it's either awesome or it sucks. I'm here to tell you about an OLD alternative: Plurk.

(Note that this was originally formatted for Twitter so forgive the jank thread paragraphing)

Disclaimer: This information is specifically aimed at people who use Twitter for fandom purposes; it is not intended to cover the exhaustive list of things that people use Twitter for (professional networking, art/photography promotion world news, etc). It's friend-centric rather than follow-centric, at least as the existing site culture goes.

So what is Plurk? It's a threaded microblogging platform dating back to 2008 that has only ever seen extremely niche use in English-language use. (Its primary userbase is Chinese-speaking.) It has a purely chronological timeline and a lot of privacy features that you haven't seen since the LJ era (assuming you're old enough to remember that).

Plurk functions through an exclusively-chronological timeline on your homepage (desktop) or in the app. Algorithmically sourced content? We ain't got it! (There is a different page for viewing top content but you have to go there specifically.) Instead, your timeline shows your own content and the content of other plurkers you friend or follow, and the occasional ad (MUCH more occasional than Twitter).

Each top-level plurk can be replied to, and this creates a chain of replies that can be used for conversation. Unlike Twitter and Reddit, replies don't form branching threads; each plurk is only one stream of conversation. Plurks with unread replies will be lit up as unread; however, they can be "muted" to stop them from giving you notifications.

(Two small caveats: You cannot mute your own plurks, and there is actually a cap of around 200 muted plurks. Mutes will fall off from the oldest, so you'll sometimes see an ancient plurk pop back up on your timeline if someone comes back to it. You can just mute it again.)

Your plurk timeline has a global privacy control. If your timeline is set to private, only people you have friended can see what you say on there. If your timeline is public, then anyone who comes to you page can see what you've posted, AND logged-in users can share your post on their own timeline with the "replurk" function (works just like a normal retweet), as well as reply to it.

There is also an "anonymous" option, which anonymizes you and also the names of everyone who replies (it randomly generates names like "lemon354" and "libra262" for repliers to differentiate them). Anonymous plurks will stay within your timeline if your plurk is set to private, but can be replurked if it's public.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE, because individual plurks can also be given specific privacy levels: -> Friends only (if your timeline is public but you don't want this one getting around) -> Private to "cliques," which are Twitter circles but you can have more than one -> Individual users (including those not on your friends list - this is plurk's equivalent of DMs)

Your own plurk homepage is also insanely customizable, if you want to break out the CSS or even just have a custom background. You can also alter your display name (though the character cap is VERY short), and your display name color, as well as the standard avatar change. Usernames cannot be changed as a free user, but can be changed by paid users (more on paid options in a second).

Plurk also has its own image hosting, and a pastebin-alike plaintext called Plurk Paste that has no character limit. (The character limit for top-level plurks is longer than Twitter's.)

It also has CUSTOM EMOTES in addition to its (somewhat wild) default selection. They're similar to Discord's customs, except that you can use GIFs from the get go; what's restricted is the number of slots you have as a free user. (And size is capped at 48x48 px.)

Plurk has ads, but they're mostly unobtrusive (and can be clocked entirely with ad blockers, but I didn't say that). Plurk keeps the lights on through a subscription model called Plurk Coin, which is very cheap (under $2.50 USD/month) and can be gifted to other users. Coin gives you a number of benefits including the "Except" privacy option, more username colors, response editing, and a bunch more custom emote slots.

Concerned about harassment? Plurk has one of the most robust blocking systems in social media that I've ever seen. You block someone, and they can't see you (even by going to your profile) and you can't see them. That's it, done. Full no-contact.

NSFW/18+ content is allowed. There's a specific flag for it when you first post a plurk. Plurk does expect you to use that tag when appropriate, but is otherwise very forgiving of NSFW content, at least in my experience. (Again, though, English plurk is a very small community ATM).

The thing to remember about Plurk is that it is very much a remnant of an older internet, from the days before algorithms. Like Tumblr, it's a social media where you won't see anything if you don't reach out to follow and friend people. It predates "going viral" as a goal of internet usage. The goal is to talk to people.

As an aside: Since I originally wrote this up, I've seen rumors about Japanese fanartists moving to plurk and even seen one or two mentions of it in the wild on my Twitter timeline as people talk about following those artists. Fantastic! If that's you, then I hope you find this slightly more in-depth guide to features helpful.

If this sounds up your alley, I've made a public plurk specifically for Twitter refugees to come meet people and get more information on how plurk works! You can find it here.

Twitter version: [link]

Please replurk to spread this information about!

EDIT Sept 7 2024: You can mute your own plurks now, whoo!

[lookingforhappy]

The Birth Locations/Suitcase Reveal Sucks

before you read please don't take this too seriously, I don't have a problem with people who enjoy this reveal I just wish more people would consider/analyse this as I feel like it's very half-assed and not at all well thought out

I know I've written something like this before and i'm sorry to write this again, but I think my arguments have developed and I want to explain better why I hate this decision.

I am referring to this set of posters for season 3

as the stickers on the suitcases were revealed to be their birth locations by Jeff King (executive producer and director) on instagram

the actual answer to his question is "lila's sticker" but semantics/specifics who cares (me)

why I distrust the theory/trivia as a whole

something I think should be considered here is that this is the only confirmation of this piece of trivia.

another example of TUA trivia that has been confirmed by the creators is the statement by Blackman (god ik just ignore that part for now, that isnt the point of the post & he's still a/the creator) on a reddit AMA that Grace helped the siblings choose their names based on their birth countries

however, these are both poorly researched/prepared pieces of trivia because they blatantly contradict each other

Luther's birthplace is Sweden, but Luther isn't a Swedish name, nor was is popular in either 1989 when he was born or 2002 when he was first seen using his name.

Diego is always a fairly popular name in Spanish speaking countries like Mexico but it's hardly high on the list (only statistic I can find is ranked at 31.)

Allison is neither a South African name nor is it listed as it's top names.

Klaus is Germanic (kinda fits the theme) but as far as I can see Klaus is not a biblical name which is much more typical of the Amish. Klaus is also not listed amongst the top Amish names that I've seen.

Five obviously is an outlier here.

Ben is clearly not Korean, and while I have had fun discussing the roots of his name with others (Jae-min becoming Benjamin, and Bin becoming Ben) I don't think that there's any way that the creators will acknowledge this. Ben has origins in Hebrew and is not at all popular in Korea.

Vanya (the applicable name, as Viktor wasn't yet revealed) is a male name in Russia. it's female in other countries like Bulgaria, but not Russia. It's a nickname/evolution of the name Ivan. Vanya is also not a popular name in Russia, but Ivan does seem to be. And I seriously doubt that they're going to reveal that Viktor originally named himself Ivan while he was identifying as female and then decided to change his name anyway?

which is to say, the word of the creator cannot always be trusted/believed, because that's not necessarily what will be reflected in canon or by the other creators.

there is quite a history in fandom of creators not understanding the themes/plotholes of their own creations, so i'm a little stunned at how quickly everyone integrated this into their canon without a second thought.

i have arugments as to why these locations are bad choices for the characters, but first lets take a look at what i believe these stickers were meant to represent

Placing down a read more because this became huge.

what the other stickers reference/mean

it's no secret that i think the stickers were hints to the events (related to each character's arc) of season 3.

but before i get to that let's breakdown the rest of the stickers and their meanings:

all of the umbrella's have an umbrella sticker. Lila is the only one who doesn't (so if we're playing the "who is the odd one out" game then it still falls as Lila because she is the only one without the umbrella sticker)

Luther

Luther dies in Hotel Obsidian, and never makes it physically inside Oblivion or has any part in powering it - so his sticker has the colours/design of Obsidian.

Diego

Diego is one of/the first to discover Hotel Oblivion, so he has the Oblivion colours and logo.

Allison

Allison is involved in Reginald's plot to use Oblivion to reset thte universe, so gets Oblivion's logo instead of Obsidian.

Klaus

Klaus was the one to know and direct them to Hotel Obsidian, so he has that logo.

Five

Five's revelation that he was the Founder of the Commission, and the impact of that discovery, links him to the Commission more so than either hotel.

Viktor

viktor has the hotel Obsidian logo because he has very little impact on anything to do with Oblivion and is one of the votes that decides to remain and die in Obsidian.

Lila

Lila has the Commission because she was raised in the Commission, not the Umbrella Academy.

Lila has the Obsidian logo in opposition to Diego's Oblivion logo as she chooses the opposite of Diego (I personally believe they should have swapped these two but..)

why the birth locations are more likely/appropriate as hints for the events of season 3

Luther - Stockholm, Sweden

This is probably my strongest argument: He is made fun of for having "Stockholm Syndrome" within the show

found: Season 3, episode 3, minute 13.

Luther, obviously spends all of his character development/moments with the Sparrows and Sloane - being kidnapped by them and developing "Stockholm Syndrome" for Sloane (romantic) and for the Sparrows as a whole (platonic/idealism/escapism)

Luther's mother's newpaper cutting also mentions 911 being called, but 911 is not the emergency number of Sweden, 112 is. Argentina, Canada, Dominican Republic, Jordan, Mexico, Pakistan, Palau, Panama, the Philippines, Sint Maarten, the United States, and Uruguay use 911 but not Sweden.

If Monica wasn't in Sweden at the time of Luther's birth, then Stockholm is hardly his birth location.

throughout the seasons we get a few instances of Diego, Ben and Viktor speaking their native languages, hinting that the 7 were all taught their mother's languages (with Allison at least likely learning all 7)

But if Luther is Swedish, why didn't he or Diego know what Oga For Oga meant if that's Luther's mother's language? and why was Five the only person who seemed to understand Swedish when he's not the Swede of the family? Why did Diego not at least recognise his brother's supposed second language? Or Luther for that matter?

Luther was a part of the Academy for 23+ years, longer than anyone, yet Reginald (who expects the best of his children) didn't bother enforcing this as a part of his education? his number one had a worse education than his number 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7?

Diego - Mexico

Diego apparently doesn't even get the luxury of a city, place or region. But I can confirm that his mother's newspaper cutting states that he was born in a "small town in Northern Mexico".

However, Diego's sticker could instead be a reference to the Aztecs or Mayans - his sticker has mayan/aztec pyramids on it, I believe maybe Chichen Itza specifically?? Ancient civilisations that were very advanced for their time, and that are somewhat frequently involved in alien conspiracies.

Diego is one the one to open Oblivion when he removes the harpoon, and is the first to enter it and confront the Guardians.

Oblivion is an Ancient building/place built by an Ancient civilisation of what is assumed to be aliens, and Reginald (confirmed alien) is the one to have directed them into Oblivion at first as well.

Allison - Cape Town, South Africa

Nelson Mandela is pretty famous for his part in the anti-apartheid (segregation) movement, helping to end segregation in South Africa. He was jailed in a Cape Town prison for attempting to sabotage the pro-segregation government, and then later his office as president was located in Cape Town.

an easy connection to make with Allison's arc in season 2, and the significance of it in her arc in season 3, with her dealing with PTSD, grief over Ray, and feeling alienated by her family who didn't have the same experience as her in the 60s.

Allson's mother has nothing connecting her to South Africa outside of this, as far as I'm aware.

Klaus - Pennsylvania, USA

This one I will concede is about his birth location. But in this case, it's also heavily related to his season 3 arc, as he is the driving force of the mothers plotline and literally travels to Pennsylvania.

PA is a strong and relevant hint for his s3 arc.

Five - Dublin, Ireland

Five could be connected to Ireland in multiple ways.

(there is a link between Five and JFK, "the 1st Irish American President" but I can't see the link to s3 here so honorary mention only).

A link that I understand is a somewhat touchy topic for any Irish citizens is the stereotype of drunkeness in Ireland. While there have been studies to prove that Ireland doesn't drink more than other countries such as England, it remains a well-known stereotype and the Irish people are statistically more prone to alcohol dependency/addiction.

There is also the phrase "make it Irish" which means to put alcohol in a drink, one of the more popular drinks to do this to is coffee. Which brings us back to Five - he is known for his love of coffee and for getting spectacularly drunk.

season 3 in particular features his drinking addiction in it's full glory. it's also plot relevant as his drunkness causes the murder mystery setup of the final episodes.

(also, while it's not great to have Ireland be the hint to alcohol, it's also not great to have Five, the alcoholic of the series, be the Irish representation)

Another interpretation could be the root of the name "Dublin" meaning "black pool". It was likely derived from the River Poddle which would have been stained black with peat. This could be a hint towards Five's elusive role as the Founder, as his life so far has been stained with childhood abuse, the apocalypse and his foray as an assassin, making the reveal of the Founder a shock.

One other interpretation is the Irish vs. English. Five is perhaps the most skeptical of Reginald throughout season 3, moreso than even Luther or Diego. While England has enraged many countries, Ireland is one of the most well known for it's dislike of the English, and has a lengthy history of war and altercations with England. So Five's sticker may be a hint for his re-ignited distrust of Reginald. It also works well as a predictor for Five and Lila's (English) bathroom fight.

Five's mother's newpaper cutting has several contradictions to the Ireland, Dublin location. First and foremost being that she is cited as being from both a "small seaside community" and from "county clark".

There is no County Clark in Ireland, but there is a County Clare and a County Cork. However, County Clare is on the opposite side of Ireland to Dublin and County Cork is even farther away,

Dublin, as the Capital City, is also not a "small seaside community" by any stretch of the imagination.

And the Irish police would likely not be referred to as "provincial" but instead be called Gardaí or The Garda Síochána.

Viktor - Moscow, Russia

Moscow is seen in season 1, episode 1 very briefly as Reginald arrives to adopt Viktor. You can see both the Spasskaya Tower and St Basil's Cathedral. Viktor also speaks Russian, something that none of his siblings have demonstrated.

However, this is not actually Viktor's birthplace (if we believe that the props have canon information, as most argue that Diego is definately from Mexico due to his cutting stating his mother was in Northern Mexico, etc) as according to his book Viktor was born in "small town off the Southern coast of Russia".

Moscow is nowhere near the coast and is not exactly southern either, nor is it a small town. And while this isn't exaclty specified that the "small town" he visits is the place he was born, it wouldn't make much sense if it wasn't, as Viktor was able to track his mother down via newspaper articles about his birth.

Moscow could mean a lot of things for Viktor's arc:

it could be a reference to s1, ep1 but instead of his exact birth location, it could simply hint to his mother's country and toward Harlan's involvement in the mothers' deaths - and the long reach of his powers from America to Russia.

It could also be a hint to Viktor's significance as a much more involved and aware plot driver this season as Moscow is the politcal centre of Russia as its capital city.

It might also hint at his disconnect from his family (not being a part of the Academy and not understanding the hard decisions and necessary teamwork that come with it) causing tensions, as while Moscow is the political capital, Saint Petersburg is considered the cultural capital.

Plus Moscow's history as the capital works well as a parallel to his journey with his powers, and works as a hint to Viktor developing his powers with Harlan because Moscow also briefly lost its status as the capital to Saint Petersburg, possibly a parallel to Viktor, the most powerful of the Umbrellas, losing his powers to Reginald's drugs. Moscow was later restored as the capital, paralleling Viktor's regaining of his powers.

Lila - Berlin

Lila is nice and simple, she was considered the outlier by Jeff King anyway as her suitcase doesn't match her confirmed birth place (London), and instead is a pretty obvious hint to her time in West Berlin, Germany, with Trudy and Stan.

why i dislike the chosen locations as the birth locations

in general I think it's silly to choose almost all capital cities: Dublin, Moscow, Cape Town, Stockholm, Seoul..

I know these are populous places but there must have been some variation? (aside from Klaus, who has plot armour for this point due to his Amish origins, and Diego, who is the only non-capital city purely because he wasn't given the dignity of a named city/town/village)

it's also lazy writing (and i believe somewhat racist?) to have every sibling come from the country/continent you'd expect?

the latino is mexican

the black woman is african

the asian man is asian

the blonde haired/blue eyed man is scandinavian

even Klaus, Five and Viktor are all white men from predominantly white countries.

at least try to subvert expectations?

to an extent i understand that they were trying to incorporate the actors ethnicities with Justin having korean roots, and David being raised in mexico. But the only irish thing about Aidan is his surname, and Emmy has no known connection to South Africa. I'm also pretty sure Tom isn't swedish at all and Elliot isn't russian.

it's lazy, poorly planned and honestly highly questionable writing at best

[iilmunchkiin]

Life Update

Hey so I know y'all like my art and all but college is creeping up on me so I might start posting less

I appreciate all the comments dearly, I really do, thank you so much for being so interested in my artworks and supporting me, but for now I really gotta take a break..

I might start going in a half-hiatus?? kind of state, where I'll be online but, not as active as I usually do...

This might change in the future, hopefully it does because I genuinely enjoy making silly art. This post is also going to be like some kind of time capsule to remind myself of SHIT I NEED TO DO.

I'm just filled with so much uncertainty at the moment...

If you read this all the way, thank you. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

(More yapping + potential art/concepts I plan to make underneath the cut)

(I repeat, some of these aren't final, just concepts)

Redesigning the entire undertale red and yellow cast into my style ( + the human souls )

Make a fuckign reference sheet for my persona

3 UTY AUs I plan to make

1st AU (Gameshow!AU) : Clover is aware of resets and they work along side Flowey with each other their own seperate goals (Clover - for the 5 missing children, Flowey - you already know), both of them treat the monsters and life itself as a video game and see everyone as nothing else but an NPC that exists in the game of life, however, deep down Clover genuinely cares and gets attached to everyone and their stories, but for the other's sake they have to pretend, pretend they don't care, pretend they're dismissive of everyone, and pretend to be the villain they claim they are. If they don't, Flowey will catch up and notice something's wrong so Clover just plays along as Flowey pulls on their strings and keep up the facade.

2nd AU (Insanity!AU) : Everyone's Insane, it's basically like the rot comic except Clover is actually alive this time and they witness everyone just spiraling into madness. They're just so sucked up and so mentally fucked it, it feeds my delulu brain. (Example: Starlo losing his identity and not knowing who he is anymore because of how much he pretended to be someone he wasn't) (it's giving horrortale without the cannibalism lol)

3rd AU (Sci-Fi!AU) : basically everyone is like working in a company like uhm.. Mission Impossible type style or smth... like... they gotta save clover from Flowey's antics or smth idk man I'm cringe asf. The fiesty 4 is ganna be there along with Decibat and Penilla, Ceroba is going to be like the main focus since she's the one doing the planning and all. (Everyone is going to be in uniform and everything omg theyre so cool)

Some actual domestic and cute fluffy art because god damn I make so much sad shit HAHAHA (Examples: Beach Barbeque party, laundry day, grocery/clothes shopping in the surface)

More animations/animatics

Other things that aren't related to uty

As for the rot comic series I kinda(?) made in the r/UndertaleYellow sub, posts will get slower. I already mentioned it on reddit but I'll just copypaste what I said here.

If you want my reddit acc uhhhhh here lol (Also speaking of reddit holy SHIT I GOT AN AWARD???? I also loved reading the really long texts omg I love it when people hyper analyze shit)

And speaking of analyze.. did you guys notice Starlo's thingy on his hat was supposed to be a heartbeat? :3c

[aita-polls]

AITAH for telling my daughter I won’t budge even if she never speaks to me again?

**I am not the OP and do not claim the statements below to be my own** [Link to Reddit Post]

My daughter Casey (17f) worked and saved up money for around a year to be able to afford a better car than we could buy her with our family budget. My other daughter Alana (16f, has ADHD) recently got her driver’s license, and asked to drive Casey’s car. Casey allowed it, but Alana ended up having a bad accident around 6 months ago which basically rendered the car unusable.

The insurance payout wasn’t nearly enough to cover the replacement, and with Alana’s medical bills from the accident (thankfully there was no permanent damage, just a broken arm and leg), there was no way we could afford to replace Casey’s car immediately.

Alana was very apologetic to Casey, and so were we since we couldn’t afford to replace her car. Casey didn’t accept our apology, and has been basically avoiding us, skipping family dinners, and pretty much pretending that her mom, Alana, and I don’t exist and only talks to us if she needs a form signed for her school.

I begged her to come to a family therapy session, and she eventually relented but with the condition that Alana wouldn’t be present. In the therapy session, she told us that she won’t be resuming a relationship with us until we replace her car, which realistically won’t be until next year. When the therapist asked how she expected us to do that, Casey said we could just make Alana work to earn the money.

The issue is that Alana has severe ADHD, and already has trouble managing her school work. I’m worried that making her work to earn the money will harm her grades and have significant ramifications for her future. Casey said “well she should have thought about that before destroying my car, I don’t care, I’m not gonna speak to any of you unless I have my car replaced”. I responded that she was free to avoid speaking to me for as long as she wanted to, but I’m not going to permanently harm her sister’s future to get her a car earlier.

My wife agrees with me that we need to stand firm on our position, but is also genuinely afraid of Casey never speaking to her ever again. I understand that her car was ruined, but I as a parent I need to look out for all my children, not just one. I also don’t want to set the precedent that emotional blackmail will work even if what you’re asking for is unreasonable.

AITAH?

[underworld-park-offical]

Episode 1

TOLKIEN: What in the world are you doing?

CRAIG: Posting on Snapchat

TOLKIEN: What the fuck, why?

CRAIG: These followers ain't gonna get themselves

TOLKIEN: Shut the actual fuck up you fucking Supreme Yeezy wearing- CRAIG: No <3

TOLKIEN: Boy kisser

CRAIG: Gaywad

KYLE: Can you guys stop fighting oh my fucking god

CRAIG: It's my house and I'm high as balls, I do what I want

KYLE: You sound like Cartman

CRAIG: I will  kick you out

TOLKIEN: Do it, no balls

CRAIG: I wasn’t talking to you, girl kisser

TOLKIEN: You know I'm dating Clyde you dumb bitch

CLYDE: Hi :)

CRAIG: Whatever, how do we play this game?

STAN: Okay, plot twist, we don’t play this dumbass kids' game, and go to bed like normal people

TOLKIEN: It's not a kids game, Stan, eat my shorts

STAN: First of all, no, that's gay

STAN: Second, this is from fucking HASBRO

STAN: Therefore, it's for kids

JIMMY: I- I've seen this in m-m-m-m-m-movies, be-before. I-I think it w-w-was m-m-m-my l-l-l-l-little p-pony

CLYDE: Man… I always wondered what friendship could be

CRAIG (deadpan): My little pony…

TOLKIEN: I hate you all

TOLKIEN: You put your hands on the planchette–

CARTMAN: Oh yes, sir douchengaurd the great, we ALL know what that  is

CARTMAN: Speak in English (disrespectfully)

TOLKIEN: Kill yourself

CARTMAN: I'm telling my Twitter stans about this

STAN: I'm not on Twitter

CARTMAN: OH MY GODDDD not you  you fucking rejected Weezer member!

CARTMAN: Nevermind, I'm telling REDDIT

TOLKIEN: Can we just play the game, please?

JIMMY: Wh-wh-why do y-you w-w-wanna play it so bad?

JIMMY: HMMMMMM???

JIMMY: Q-queermo… wh-whatcha tryna g-g-get everyone t-to do h-huh?

STAN: Bro wants everyone to hold hands apparently

KYLE: It's like a My Little Pony circle, my favorite (unironical bozo)

TOLKIEN: ….

TOLKIEN: (Why did I even come here)

KENNY: Can we get to the game, please?

KENNY: The whole point of a sleepover is to get high and do dumb shit

KENNY: TO THE DUMB SHIT, FOR GOOD AND– (Falling sound) …I'M OKAY!

CRAIG: Kenny, do a dance on the table, it’ll look so cool for my Instagram

KENNY: BET…… for twenty dollars I'll do it

CRAIG: ….Shit I don't have twenty dollars

KENNY: LMAO LOSER

TOLKIEN: ….Put your hands on the only  thing on the board, for the love of god

TOLKIEN: You guys literally suck ass

CLYDE: D:

TOLKIEN: Not you, Clyde

CLYDE: :D

(EDITS MADE BY: @pissblanket)

[baejax-the-great]

Hi! I just wanted to combat that anon (fuck them btw) and say I ADORE your fics.

I’ve plagued everyone to tears in my life over broken oaths and water in the dawn. Your premises never fail to go hard asf. And your prose? It absolutely baffles me how you write so fast when the quality is just next level, and your characterisation of patrochilles? Ugh it scratches such an itch in my brain, you just Get Them.

I recently logged into my ao3 to read sweet victory and realised most of your fics have availability set to logged in users only. Omg I was like a kid on christmas. I have so much reading to do!!!

Your work is incredible, and brings me so much joy. Have a great day!

Hey, thank you! (but also don't worry about that anon. Pretty sure I know who that is and they have a very weak understanding of appropriate behavior (or how to get under my skin for that matter))

Patrochilles crawled into my brain and sleeps there. Prior to them, I can't say I had much interest in Greek myth. I played Hades, someone suggested I read tsoa, I read the Iliad, became obsessed with Ajax somewhere in the middle of that, and two years later, here we are (366k words on the archive???). I like to joke that the muses still wake up every few years and target a random person with "Okay, it's your turn to make sure his glory is eternal like we promised" and then go back to sleep. And possibly the one I got was confused and hit me with the Ajax beam, too.

I also think when Troy (2004) came out, the muses had to work overtime to fix that egregious error

I'm mostly joking. I tend to think of these Greek heroes as the OG comic book characters. Over the years, so many authors have taken a crack at them with their own biases, preferences, and interpretations. Some shit gets retconned. Some new stuff gets canonized. People debate over it. Except those debates end up on jstor instead of reddit or twitter or whatever.

Obviously, though, as one of the current people writing about these guys, I'm right and my cultural biases have no role in influencing my perfect understanding of their characters (/s).

It was interesting going from Hades game, where Patroclus is so snarky and dry, to the Iliad, where when he finally speaks, it's to literally cry with tears streaming down his face to Achilles. I was thinking to myself, well, I'm fine with Supergiant inventing this part of him and I'll keep it for myself. And then he had the best trash talk of all the Achaeans. I had actually put my book down to text a friend "the trash talk in this book absolutely sucks; humans clearly didn't have that down yet" and then the next line was Patroclus telling everyone to shut the fuck up because he was with me on that one. And then he wrecks Hector's shit verbal-style while blind and dying. Love that guy.

Anyway this is all to say many interpretations are good! Except for Troy (2004) and the one where Achilles considered Patroclus his mommy. It's cool to see how people take small details from a 3k yo book and turn it into full characterizations. Less cool to learn just how badly Ajax's original story got warped. I'm super happy these guys inspired me to write so much in the past couple years and that the fandom has honestly been one of the most interesting and engaged that I've come across.

As for the archive-lock, I tend to keep my active WIPs open to guest readers and then lock them after they've been finished for a little while. It's probably not terribly effective, but my hope is this limits some of the constant scraping being done of the archive.

[blackjackkent]

The fight with Ethel's masked henchmen went pretty smoothly. The trapped area with all the noxious gas less so; Rakha's brand new disadvantage on perception checks definitely did not help matters and everyone ended up facetanking quite a few explosions.

Short rest, and then on into the lair!

The girl, Mayrina, is being held in a large cage of vines suspended over a pit at the center of the lair. She looks frantic with fear as she sees Rakha and her companions enter. "Leave me here!" she cries, shaking her head, gripping the cage's bars.

Fair enough, thinks Rakha, and then pays no further attention to her. She is not here for the girl, in truth - she just wants Ethel dead.

And there she is.

"You come into my home," the hag screeches, "interfere in my business, and now have the gall to face me in the heart of my lair?! You petulant bollocks!" Her lips curl in a ferocious grin. "I'll rip your spine out your arsehole! I'll use your blood to spice my stew. I'll keep you alive until I've sucked the marrow from your bones! And then I'll bring you back and do it all over again!"

She speaks like the beast, Rakha thinks distantly. And indeed, the dark urge in her head is rising in answer to Ethel's taunting, its blood-hunger starting to blot out any rational thought. Take her, kill her, rip her ribcage out and toss it down that black pit below the girl--

Fire flashes in her palms and she hurls herself down the slope towards the hag with an inarticulate scream.

-----

The fight is, of course, chaos. Ethel seems to know Rakha's every move before she makes it, and she has plenty of tricks up her sleeve as well - splitting apart into illusions, going invisible, setting Mayrina's cage on fire as a distraction.

Wyll manages to put the cage out with a carafe of water from his pack; Rakha barely notices it, or Mayrina's desperate screams for them to leave. Her attention is all on the hag, every bit of her power brought to bear on overwhelming Ethel's cunning with sheer, violent force.

(A/N: I learned something in this fight! I was always pretty annoyed by Ethel's move where she disguises herself AS Mayrina and you have to risk killing Mayrina if you pick the wrong one to shoot at. However - I learned from Reddit today that you can investigate both of them and their images are slightly different! The real Mayrina, obviously, is pregnant - Ethel's illusory imitation isn't!

The real Mayrina is also level 1 and Ethel is level 5, which is more obvious, but this is a fun little detail and one that is actually discernible from an in-game perspective as well. XD (I feel like they used to have different health pools and AC but that doesn't seem to be the case now.)

Of our little group, Shadowheart has easily the best perception so I assume she was the one that picked up on this during the fight.

Also, weirdly, Ethel never did her cutscene at low health where she offers to bargain her hair. Rakha was never going to take the bargain anyway, because she wanted Ethel dead, but it's puzzling.)

It's a brutal fight, bloody and vicious. But in the end, Ethel falls in a pool of her own blood. Rakha stares down at the hag's broken body and feels the beast urge in her head begin to settle, sated, satisfied. There's for your betrayal, she thinks bitterly. And be damned to you.

As she slowly returns to herself, she becomes aware that Mayrina is still screaming - not in terror but fury.

"You bastard! You ruined it! You ruined everything!"

Rakha looks at her blankly. She was barely aware of Mayrina's presence the whole time, so fiercely was her focus fixed on Ethel, and she has no idea what the woman is talking about. "Slow down," she says bluntly. "What did I do?"

"Ethel was going to bring my husband back!" Mayrina wails. "Back from the dead! And now I'll never see him again - because of you!"

Rakha thinks this over. She remembers the pathetic prisoners in the upper room of the lair, and the bits of lore Wyll related to her on the way down. She remembers a book she found in a house in the blighted village. And most of all, she remembers her own eye - the pain that lingers in half her face despite Shadowheart's healing, the pain that she thought was buying her salvation but was only treachery in the end.

"Hags don't work for free," she says. "What did you promise her?"

"This..." Mayrina looks down at her swollen stomach. "Just a bit longer and my child would have been born! And all this... all this would have been over."

Rakha is so puzzled by this that what little tact she might have had slips away. "You were going to trade your baby for your dead husband?" she asks, bewildered.

(Husband. A marriage. Love. A love, it seems, this woman was willing to sacrifice everything for. The idea is... puzzling. And frightening - because she is starting to know herself also capable of deep emotions that she does not understand.)

"Don't judge me," Mayrina snarls. "I have nothing! My baby would have been raised in rags! Auntie Ethel promised to give this child a good life - teach them magic, even!" Her head bows and her voice lowers. "More than I could have done..."

"You should have known better," Rakha says harshly. "Hags don't help anyone but themselves."

It's not Mayrina she's speaking to, of course - not really. I should have known better. I shouldn't have trusted her. Perhaps I shouldn't have trusted anyone.

"Well, I didn't bloody ask you, did I?!" Mayrina cries. "I didn't ask for any of this! I just wanted Connor back..." Her voice breaks and she turns away, walking back up the slope by which they entered. "Now I have to drag his corpse back home, coffin and all, because a goddamn grave is the closest I'll get to seeing him again. I hope you're happy."

Rakha watches her go and her right eye gives a sharp twinge, and she shakes her head. No, she thinks bitterly. I think this might be the least happy I have been yet.

[skvaderarts]

In case anyone is interested, I might have some information from reddit in regards to the news about the new DMC anime. I'll link it below. But it doesn't appear that the show will have the same VA for Dante that most of us are used to. No word yet on anyone else. I'll keep my ear to the ground. I'll also let you know if I get confirmation on a release date.

Here are the highlights at the top of the thread from the DMC reddit. The first link in red below, that is.

Here is the link

It might have just been confirmed here as well.

On a secondary but no less important note, I'm sorry if this is how you find out about Ruben's behavior and apparent personality, especially on twitter. I know. It sucks. I'm hurt, too. I didn't know until relatively recently, and I'm still not sure how to process it all. I wish he would come to his senses and get some help or something. I don't even know anymore. I never knew him personally or anything, but it is shocking to find out. Maybe I just wasn't looking close enough.

It's a lot to take in, and it gets worse every time I hear about it. Smh.

Sorry if I had to be the one to rip the bandaid off. It's okay to be very disappointed. I am, too. I'm sure I'm not speaking for just myself when I say that DMC was a big part of my childhood (even if I wasn't supposed to be playing it because of my age), and still is a big part of my life. I love the series to death.

It's always hurtful to find out things like this about someone who plays a character so close to your heart. I imagine it hurts extra if he was a person you respected only to find this out. And especially if any of his views directly affect you on a personal level. I don't agree with or condone any of it. I'm sorry. Dante isn't my favorite character, but I've always liked him. I know it still hurts because I think we all, to some degree, just enjoy the voice cast as people and it hurts to find out that a member of the cast is like this outside of the studio. I guess it's a sobering reminder that people, no matter how surreal it might seem, the people who play the characters we love... are people. They are not as infallible as I like them to be. And I don't know them personally. It just sucks that you only ever get reminded of that in the worst ways.

But yea, take care and I'll keep you updated if I find out anything reputable. I hope you're having a good day. What do you think about the anime announcement. Truth be told, I haven't watched the trailer yet. I've just been laughing at everyone's responses to it. That's enough entertainment for me at the moment 😂

[nordic-language-love]

Hii~ idk if you talked about it but could you tell us your journey in Japan? How is it + how did you manage to go there (if you want to share ofc!)

It's because I'd like to move to Japan and I'm trying to collect information on how to successfully go there.. so if you have any advice pls lemme know, I'd really appreciate it! Have a great day!

Hi there! I sure can :)

How I Got There

Pretty much everyone I know who came to Japan is an ESL teacher (not surprising given I am an ESL teacher and so are all my colleagues, and when I was doing research I mostly searched Youtube for people's ESL experiences in Japan). The most common route of application is via the JET Program. There are also a number of Eikaiwa companies that hire from abroad and will sponsor your visa (this is what I did - I'm happy to give you the details of my recruiter over a DM if you want). However, pretty much all of these options require you to have a bachelor's degree (doesn't matter what in). The main problem with these kinds of companies is you don't have much control over where in Japan they put you, and typically you won't be in a big city (although you might be in a surrounding area - one guy from my training group is based in Saitama). The pay's also not great (but as long as you live within your means, you'll be very comfortable and you can definitely save up).

Even if teaching English isn't something you fancy, it's probably the easiest way to get into Japan if you have a bachelor's. You don't have to be a native English speaker (although you should be at least a comfortable C1, ideally C2 level), and once you're in Japan you can find a job you actually want much more easily.

You can also try GaijinPot for more jobs - there's a section for people applying from overseas. But please check on places like Reddit or FB groups whether a job seems reasonable before applying; anything that advertises pay "per hour" is unlikely to be a liveable wage, and I've been told 240K/mo in Tokyo is not really sufficient (no problem for me out in the sticks, but Tokyo living costs are crazy).

How It Is

I love the nature here! I live in the Tohoku region so I'm surrounded by mountains and forests and I feel so lucky!

The summer sucks if you aren't a fan of the heat. We had 33-37ºC every day from mid-July to the start of September. I have a colleague who grew up in the UAE and he's been laughing at us all saying how beautiful the weather is, but for me, who is native to a cold and soggy little mound of grass in the Atlantic, it is horrendous. Not to mention the cicadas. Idk if there are cicadas where you live but I was NOT prepared.

You can get by without Japanese, but making the effort will go a LONG way. If you've only ever travelled in Europe or English-speaking countries, you'll probably have the impression that "everyone speaks English to some degree" and that you can always find someone with good enough English to help you. This is not the case in Japan! Your interactions will be very awkward if you don't make the effort. You'll probably be fine in bigger cities but more remote regions will be very difficult to navigate.

I understand Japanese a LOT better than when I first came here. I can still barely speak it, but I'm always surprised by how much I can pick up from the kids from the words I know and context (this is a huge advantage to teaching if learning Japanese is your goal: young kids will babble at you in Japanese CONSTANTLY). I'd probably speak it better if I made the effort to go out and talk to people but I'm shy lol.

I love the job! My colleagues are great and the kids are so much fun. My company does provides really good support and my work-life balance is perfect for me. I also get to use my creative side making classroom materials. But I don't get sick days and I only have 10 paid vacation days, 5 of which are at the end of the year and cannot be moved. I'm also pretty sure most other eikaiwas and Japanese companies will work you a lot harder, and you'll have much longer hours and higher expectations from your company.

Hope that helps! Best of luck with everything. Feel free to shoot me another ask if you have more specific questions!

[jaw-writes]

I Accepted a Job to Film on the Dark Web Pt 1

Man, I am pumped to tell you chronically online content addicts my story. Wait is that too mean of an intro? Will this get taken down for harassment since I painted too accurate a picture of the people on this site? Sorry, everyone, I’m sure you all smell like an expensive bakery and have touched grass this morning. Anyway, I promise I have something interesting. It even involves the dark web you uncreative writers cream yourselves over! I mean, totally real people speaking about their strangely similar experiences. Okay, fine I’ll stop bullying you through the screen before you click off. 

This all started when I was seven years old and my parents were killed in front of me in an anti-indigenous hate crime, but let's be real you don’t care. I’m just some annoying Cherokee kid with dead parents so I’ll skip to the good parts. I spent years in an orphanage, gradually becoming more interested in death and violence. As bad as it is, I went out of my way to expose myself to that content in the hopes of desensitizing myself. Which ended up working too well, since now I’m obsessed with causing and viewing pain, though I don’t find any joy in hurting myself.

I got adopted at twelve and after a few months of staying at my new family’s home on the reservation, I went with them to a state sweatier than the average Reddit user, California. Long story short, both of my caretakers, whom I referred to as Uncle and Auntie because they could never be my parents, died. Leaving me in the care of their older son, who I call cousin. I’m not stupid enough to give up any real names, so I’ll call him Brick, cause he’s as dumb as one. He was in his early 20s when he was tasked with taking care of me and is the world’s worst excuse for a babysitter.

I’m almost always alone at the apartment, with him only coming by to drop off supplies and stay for a few hours so the neighbors don’t get too worried. Unless I get in trouble at school, then he’d suddenly give a shit. It's useful because he doesn't about the gory stuff I look at, but some display of interest would be nice. Oh well, ninety percent of the population sucks so he’s just part of the majority. Now, with that said, you’ll be able to understand the perfect storm that led me here. During my time on the deep web, I found a particular website that caught my eye. They had new footage relatively consistently and they were the easiest for me to access since I didn't go too far into the dark web, especially with all the honey pots lying around. 

I even bought a couple of files for myself to study and admire. One thing irritated me though, the cameraman. He was always sobbing, breathing, shaking, or some combination of those. It seriously killed the vibe of the killings. Something I commented on under many videos, often saying I would do a better job filming. A choice that in hindsight was me asking to end up in one of those recordings. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I was mostly the only one who commented but I was sure they wouldn't care. I was embarrassingly wrong. 

I was staying up like usual, but it was past one AM on a school night, and back then that was a lot so I tried to sleep. Closing my eyes, tossing and turning, the works. I had just started drifting off when I heard the front door open. I remained calm but immediately found it weird since Brick never showed up this late. The thuds of the individual's feet grew louder as they got closer to my bedroom. I tried to convince myself it wasn't a stranger, especially since they got in with ease, but I knew that was wishful thinking.

They hummed as they opened my door. My dumbass had left it unlocked. I remained on my side, trying to look like I was asleep. They turned on the flashlight of their phone, shining it in my face. It was hard but I stayed still while they traced it over my features. I could tell they were smiling as they clicked their tongue.

“Heh, I knew it was a brat,” they whispered to themselves, pulling tangles out of my hair. Something I struggled not to groan from. They pulled up the hair over my ear and got so close spit got on my ear lobe. 

“I know you’re awake kid,” they murmured, putting a blade to my neck. I let them grab my shoulder and move me onto my back, I knew how to fight but I wasn't about to take that big a risk with the position they had me in.

“You think you’re so cool saying you can do better than our guy.” they snickered, kneeling, their flashlight still shining in my face. 

“Do you seriously believe that?” they questioned, moving the light away. 

“Yeah, I do.” I stood my ground, they might have been intimidating but I wasn't gonna let that stop me from being honest. 

“I wouldn't sound like I’m gonna piss myself every time it gets gory. I’m confident I could get better footage too, getting up close is something I’ve fantasized about.” 

They clicked their tongue again and ran their finger over the bridge of my nose.

”Well, I know you’re a big fan of what we do, and you’re confidence makes me think you got something to back those claims up, so how’d you like a deal?” 

I was surprised by how civil they were being aside from the touching and weapon against my throat.

“What kind of deal?” I asked, for all I knew this guy wanted me to lick their feet or some weird shit like that. They placed a finger underneath my eye, tracing a half moon with their nail. 

“You have till this Friday to film a video of you killing an animal and put it on a flash drive that I’ll pick up here. If it impresses me and the crew we’ll hire ya with a handsome salary.” They began, moving their hand down to my cheek. 

“But if you don't show, or it doesn't meet our standards, then I’m fucking up one of the parts of your face.” They warned, pinching my skin harshly. 

“And if I say no to this deal?” 

They put their hand over my mouth, scratching my lips. 

“That’s cute, if you say no I’ll just slit your throat.” they grinned. 

“Or rip it open with my teeth if you got a preference,” they smirked, before running their tongue across their sharp teeth. 

“Okay, since I have no choice I’ll go with it, but I’m telling you now I can give you something way better than what you likely expect of me.” I prefaced, looking into their sunken eyes. They scratched my scalp, including the side of my head that was shaved.

“Good choice, I’ll be back to pick it up and if you're not here I’ll assume you don’t have the video. I genuinely wish you luck, because you’ll need it.” they removed the blade from my neck and walked away. I sat still for a few minutes in the dark, processing what had happened and wondering how they got into my apartment with such ease. I was confident I could blow their sniveling excuse of a cameraman out of the water, but I was worried about the people I was getting caught up with.

Sure, I had been on a lot of gore sites over the years but I was always just watching and occasionally commenting. Compared to most in the scene I wasn't much of a threat. I could defend myself and have contemplated killing for years but I hadn't murdered anyone or worse. Plus, I am part of way too many targeted groups to not be constantly at risk. Teenage, fem-leaning, two-spirit, indigenous kid with trauma? Yeah, I might as well be walking sign screaming “Hate crime me”. 

So yeah, there was a lot to worry about. Regardless, I couldn't let that fear hold me back. I had a job to do and a group of sickos to appease. The next morning was rough, I got no sleep cause I’d spent all night brainstorming. I barely mustered the energy to change and drank straight mouthwash instead of brushing my teeth. Slogging onto the bus with drool on my cheek, I went to the back like usual. No one sat there cause, the seats were extra worn down, and I scared off anyone who attempted to with my active, rabies-infected bitch face. That day was different though.

I blanked on his name and where I knew him from, but I recognized his wavy hair and prominent curved nose. He glanced at each seat on the bus, before somehow settling on my area. He tried to give me space but ultimately seated himself beside me after realizing it was the only spot that didn't look like it would give him cancer. I glared at him as I did with everyone, but it didn't phase him. 

“You know you could pick anywhere else right?” I murmured. He stared at the floor, then at me. 

“I’m aware, but a few months ago I started a mission to sit on every part of this bus, and this is the last place.” he smiled, his lips softly curving at the sides.

“What’s the point of that?” 

His mouth moved into a more neutral position, but his eyes kept smiling.

“I just thought it would be neat to see the same place from a bunch of different perspectives.” he took out his phone and snapped a photo from the point of view where he was sitting. Maybe my sleepiness made my bitch face less effective, cause he hadn't shown a hint of fear, which kind of annoyed me. 

“That’s cool I guess, but I wouldn't do that if I were you. I’ve done some back here alone that would make your skin crawl.” in hindsight my attempt at unnerving him just made me sound like a pervert, which is probably why he held back laughter. Trying to hide a chuckle by clearing his throat.

“Hey, it's not my business what you do, no matter how Haram it is. It’s your life so that’s between you and whatever you believe in. Just don’t shake hands with me.” he joked, playfully putting his hands up. Strangely, I remembered his name at that moment. 

“Oh shit, you’re Abdul! We have art together.” I sat up, haphazardly slamming my hand down on my leg.

“Uh yeah, I’ve seen some of your paintings, they’re pretty cool. I like the way you texture them, I’m trying to work on that.” he complimented, seeming more weirded out by my sudden energy than my accidental insinuation. I felt a little stupid for yelling his name but decided not to dwell on it. 

“Thanks, you’re stuff is nice, and you’re good at shading.” 

He stretched his arms while thanking me. We talked for a few more minutes, taking jabs at each other throughout. Turns out he was better at being an asshole than his artsy charismatic appearance made me think. The thing setting our insults apart 

being that you could tell he was a loving person underneath. It was the nicest conversation I had with anyone in a while. Though he could tell I was tired so he quieted down, letting me sleep, waking me when we got to school. We went our separate ways until the last two periods we shared. All that time, I spent my remaining energy plotting how I was going to handle the video. What I’d kill, record with, and how to dispose of the evidence. It was a lot to consider, but through three classes I devised a plan.

I’d find a stray around my apartment complex and take it out in my room. Record it on a portable camera since I broke the ones on my phone, no, I will not be answering how that happened. Then once I had my footage I’d put the body in a trash bag, throw it in the complex’s garbage, and clean the blood off my floor. It didn't seem like Brick would come by so he wasn't a factor I thought I’d have to consider. The plan was almost too easy, but I decided to believe in Occam’s razor. I got so lost in thought that by the time I reached Art, which was my second-to-last period, I didn't process that we were moving seats. 

“She called your name,” Abdul reminded me. Our teacher placed us next to each other at our four-person table. The two girls sitting with us were already friends, so I didn't bother to say anything, but I was interested in talking to him more.  

“So, what do you think of this assignment?” 

He shrugged, taking out his sketchbook. 

“I’m not that good at drawing people, but the idea of combining two people’s faces into a portrait seems interesting. Any ideas on who you’ll pick?” 

“Probably the members of the music duo Brain Tumor, they’re my favorite artists and they both look weird as hell.”

“Wow way to talk about your favorites, if that’s what you say about them I can‘t imagine what you have to say about me.” he joked, pulling up reference pictures. 

“First, it’s not an insult, second I don’t have anything to say about you. Brain and Tumor have features and styles that make them stand out. Sure they’re ugly, but it just adds to their visual charm. Hot people are boring, there’s nothing to pick at.” I explained, unzipping my bag.

“Oh, so you’re saying you think I’m hot.” 

His comment wasn’t serious but it kind of got to me. 

“Shit, that’s not what I meant, I was trying to say you’re boring. All hot people are boring, but not all boring people are hot, okay?” I explained, flipping to a clean page.

“Alright, but if I’m so bland then why talk to me?” 

I hesitated, contemplating how much of a dick I was gonna be. 

“Because it means you probably need some spice in your life, which I can provide.” 

He began sketching a head on his paper.

“I like spices, but I feel like you’re the kind of person to dump a cabinet’s worth onto me.”

I flicked my pencil over to his side of the desk, putting on a mocking grin. 

“Aww, you scared I’m gonna get you into trouble?” 

He picked up the pencil and started using it, putting his on my side.

“No, ‘cause I’m good at setting boundaries. I’m more concerned that you’ll get annoyed with how unafraid of you I am.” 

I stared at him for a moment, I hadn't expected to hear that.

“Jeez, man you didn't have to read me like that.” 

He shrugged, observing the red paint from past projects that lay on my pencil. 

“It's not hard to figure out, just this morning you were trying to push me away on the bus. Lucky, or unlucky, for you I want you to have a friend and you seem like a fun person.”

“Wait are you saying I have no friends?” I squinted at him.

“Well, do you?” 

I didn't answer. 

“If your response is silence I suggest you take up my offer.” 

I was stunned, to be honest. No one had offered to be my friend since 6th grade, and that didn't last long. Of course, I accepted it, but for the rest of the period, there was an awkwardness in my mind. As pathetic as it sounds I wasn't used to others genuinely enjoying my company like he did. Which was partly by design cause I get joy out of scaring people away, but still. I forgot how it felt to have conversations about normal things like art. He had such a nice smile too, usually when I see a grin I want to slap it off, but I liked his. His voice was also nice, it’s hard to describe what in particular but it was easy on the ears. 

Okay, I’m starting to get off-topic. I’ll skip to the important part. Toward the end of class, he started talking about how he was interested in filmmaking and got a portable video camera as a gift at last year’s Eid. He didn't have it on him, but he showed me a picture.

“Heh, that’s funny, I bought the same one a month ago.” I pointed out.

“Yeah, it's a popular model, I’m still getting the hang of it though cause I’m so used to using my phone.” 

“Well, maybe I could bring you over to my place or vice versa after school and I can help you out.” I suggested.

He smiled, putting his phone back in his pocket.

“I thought you said you’ve only had it for a month? You know I can always look up tutorials from trained professionals.” he reminded me with a notable smugness that I'd used with him before. 

“Well those guys are stuffy and I’m a fast learner.” 

He redirected his attention back to his page, picking his pencil up. 

“Alright, I suggest we go somewhere public instead. You’re not exactly the kind of person I want to bring home to my parents right away. Plus they always need to meet my friends and their guardians before I hang out at their home.” 

I gave an exaggerated sigh, stretching my back.

“Aw man, looks like we can’t get high in my murder pit during our first hangout.”

He didn't respond for a solid few seconds. 

“Wait, you do know I'm joking right?” 

He shrugged, the smile in his eyes appearing again.

“I mean, one of those things is a little less believable than the other.” he snickered, and I laughed with him. 

We set up a time and a date, which is where I screwed myself. He ended up being busy with projects from his other classes and family which just left us with Friday, the same day I had to submit the video. Now, did I tell him I wouldn't be able to make it? No, of course not, because I decided to be stupid and even more overconfident. I said that I’d one hundred percent be able to hang out with him after school like I didn't have a mutilator who was going to drop by my place at an unknown time.

The rest of the day went over fine but that bad timing led me to feel like a dick later. When I got home I was able to write out my plan, even sketching a few specifics of what I’d do. It was more exciting than when I’d been brainstorming, but this is when the gravity of the situation began to set in. When I said I’d fantasized about killings I meant it. I mean my teddy with twenty-five stab wounds should say enough. Regardless this would be the first time real blood was on my hands.

It made me feel powerful, but a little afraid. I’ve heard stories of people thinking that it would be an awesome experience and then feeling like shit. I doubted I’d be one of those people but still. Plus, I didn't exactly trust the guy who gave me this job. There was a good chance that this whole situation was rigged and they’d kill me no matter how good the video was. Or worse turn me into the feds and expose my collection. Honestly,  if that happened I’d probably eat a shot to avoid going to jail. Wait, can I say that on this platform? Okay to the mods, that was a joke, I want to live a long life. Ugh, I’m doing a terrible job of staying on track. The point is there was a lot up in the air despite it being a matter of life or death.

I knew I’d go through with it but it was still a lot less straightforward than it initially seemed. I wracked my brain to remember where most of the cats stayed and tried to come up with a good way to lure one without raising suspicion. This also proved harder than first thought because I didn't think to account for the cat man, an old guy who lived alone and fed all the cats in our dingy complex while also housing a few. Knowing how obsessive he was he’d probably notice if one of them disappeared. Then again not all the cats return consistently or at all. It makes more sense that he’d think one of them was run over rather than slaughtered. It was getting late again so I rested my head for a moment, a bad move cause I ended up falling asleep at my desk. Not even changing out of the clothes I’d worn before, I woke up late and barely caught the bus the next morning. 

I went to my usual spot but Abdul had already taken it. He patted the area next to it, which he’d covered in a towel, a smart move knowing how nasty it was. People gave me a few dirty looks as normal, which I smiled at. I stretched, my mind slightly less out of it than the previous morning. 

“Uh, you do realize that-”

“Yeah, I know I’m wearing the same clothes.” 

Abdul looked me up and down, his eyes remaining soft, but with a mix of concern and judgment. He set his backpack down and took off his sweater handing it to me.

“Dude what are you-”

“Look I don't know what led to you not being able to change but I think you should at least have a fresh top.”

I was surprised he was offering me something to wear but I took it. 

“Uh, thanks, I’ll change into it later.” 

He nodded as I put it in my backpack.

“You know you didn't have to do that.”

I reminded him.

“Well there’s a lot of stuff I don’t have to do, but I do it because I want to, and I wanted to help you out.” 

He smiled, his face still warmer than an Arizona summer. I got a strange feeling in my chest at that moment, I still can’t tell if it was good or bad.

“Well, thanks, I'll give it back to you tomorrow.” 

We talked a little more and he mentioned something that caught my attention.

“Have you heard about all the animals that have been turning up dead?”

My eyes widened with surprise.

“No, I haven't, when did you hear about that?”

He pulled on his long-sleeve shirt.

“My sister said her friend who works at a shelter noticed a bunch of animals were getting adopted by people around the same time, and since then gore videos with them have been showing up. She found out through her co-worker who was emailed it by some random creep.”

I covered my mouth and looked away to hide the smile growing on my face. He had just given me the perfect cover-up without knowing. Now if I killed an animal people had an entire violent ring to connect it to instead of me! I stayed quiet for a minute because I could tell he’d likely see through any phony sad sounds I made.

“Oh wow, that’s awful, do you think they’ll ever find out the people behind it?”

He sighed, running his hand through his wavy hair.

“I hope so, for now, all we can do is pray that no more animals get hurt.” 

I couldn't contain my grin as he said that so sincerely like animals and people didn't die constantly and that taking down one group would somehow stop the issue. 

“Is there some joke I don’t get?” he furrowed his brow.

“Uh, no, sorry I smile when nervous.” 

His gaze softened again, and he didn't press further.

His bringing up the animal killings ended up being the exact push I needed to get my hands dirty. I’d spent the entire day before planning so it was time to put that plan into action. I stole some cat treats that the cat man had laid out and spread them around my apartment which was on the bottom floor. Waiting for one of them to take the bate outside my window was pretty boring but one of them came after a few minutes. A scraggly brown and black cat with a tuft of fur missing on one side of his head. It's messed up but I felt like a little less of an asshole for taking him in since he looked like he was already struggling. I scooped him up and he didn't attempt to fight back. 

“Hey there buddy” I waved, feeding him some more food. His eyes had a lot of crust on them, it was kinda gross but I don’t have the right to say with how often I wash my jeans. After a minute or two he let me pet him. I knew making any kind of attachment was bad but I thought it was the right thing to do so he’d fall into a sense of security. I was just about to take him into my room when the door opened.

“Hey, I’m back with groceries!” my shithead cousin announced with two plastic bags in his hands. He looked down to see me with the cat, his eyebrows raising.

“Aw come on, you know we can’t afford a pet.”

He groaned placing the bags on a table and unloading them.

“I know, but he doesn't look like he’s got a lot of life in him I at least want to help him feel better before he kicks the bucket!”

Brick rolled his eyes, putting the cereal box on top of the fridge

“Jeez, did you even think about what diseases he might have? His eyes look puffy what if he has something that can get you sick?”

He had valid concerns which was surprising since he’s usually stupid, but I was still annoyed with him.

“I’m sure he’s fine, I’ll even try to wash him, just please let me hold onto him for a little.”

He folded his arms looking down at us.

“Have you even named him?”

I froze for a second, before using the first thing that came to mind, which ended up being pretty awful knowing my plans.

“Cash cow.” I blurted, awkwardly patting his head.

“Honestly that’s better than what I was expecting. I was sure you’d pick ‘Hellspawn Mcgee’ or something else corny.”

He meant to make fun of me but honestly, I would have named him that if I had more time.

“Ugh, anyway I got those dumb chips you like.” 

He then pulled out a bag of the wrong chips.

“Dude those are the wrong ones, this is the third time you’ve mixed up the flavors.”

He threw them at me, scaring the cat slightly.

“Well, I pay for it so you shouldn't be so picky. Anyway, while I was in line I picked up something you might be into.” 

He then tossed me a trashy teen magazine. One of my least favorite sorry excuses for an influencer on the cover.

“This is a joke, right?” 

I couldn't believe my own adopted brother gave such little shit in my interests.

“I don't know, you decided to start being a girl for real this time so I thought the makeup tips on page ten would help you out.” 

I scrunched my face at his comment.

“Dude I’ve been this way for years, just because I started wearing more makeup and dresses doesn't mean I’m more of a girl than when I didn't. I know you won’t get the two-spirit thing but come on.”

He shrugged, seeing me done with me even though he’d just shown up.

“Yeah well hey I’m trying. Anyway, just so you know a friend of mine is coming here Friday.” 

My heart stopped.

“Wait why here? You live elsewhere why can’t you assholes go there or their place!”

He slammed his fist on the table.

“Will you shut the fuck up!” 

He screamed with a phrase I’d grown numb to.

“I don't know, to be honest, something about wanting to move into this complex and this being a way to scout it out. I’m just letting you know now so you don’t act like a complete freak.” 

“Jokes on you I’ll piss in whatever shitty beer you bring just cause you said that!” 

I yelled back raising my voice higher than his. He face-palmed before putting the plastic bags in the drawer under the sink. 

“Whatever, you and your ketamine-addict-looking cat have fun,” he told me while seating himself on the couch. I picked up the cat and walked into the bathroom to clean it. I closed the door and placed him in the dry tub. Using a small disposable mouthwash cup I got a little bit of water. I hadn't had a pet before so I wasn't sure how to approach the task. I dipped my fingers in the water and carefully pet it while pouring s small bit down his back. Any other cat would fight back but he just made pissed-off noises without doing anything.

I scrapped my old shampoo bottle and kneaded it into his thin fur. His skin was bumpy and dry beneath the hair so scrubbing it was uncomfortable. I made sure to avoid getting soap in its eyes but I did pull away some of the crust on its lids. His pupils were so clouded I was surprised that he could see at all, making me feel even more sure that he would be on its way out with or without me. 

After drying him I set him on a beat-up shirt I wore when modifying clothes. He sunk his claws into it a few times, playing with a loose string. I ignored him for the rest of the night, hopping into the shower and changing for bed. His meows woke me up a few times but I tuned it out after a while, reminding myself that he wouldn’t be my cat for long. 

The next day was Thursday and there wasn't a second that passed by where the weight of the murder I’d have to commit didn't weigh on me. I seriously shot myself in the foot by taking care of that scruffy, pubic hair pile. I was supposed to be hyped about killing it, after all, I’d dreamed and seen way worse than what I was going to do. Yet once I got home and started setting up I felt grosser with each step. I decided to record it in my bathroom instead of my bedroom so it would be harder to connect to me. I set down a few fabric scraps and a worn-out beach towel, placing it all inside a tub for easier cleanup later. 

“Okay, I guess it's time,” I mumbled to myself. I brought the cat in and placed it down, setting up my camera once it was comfortable. I also wore my most generic clothes in addition to a mask, putting my hair in a bun for sanitation. When I saw the flicker of red showing that the camera was on I felt I was dreaming. I smiled, excited that I’d get to live out my violent desires. Yet, when I looked down at its pathetic frame and confused expression those urges left me. 

I rationalized what I was doing, reminding myself how many animals die all the time and that I’d been forced into this, but it didn't help much in the end. I won’t get into it but under the pressure of impressing the group Cash Cow didn't go out as fast as I would have liked for a first task. Getting rid of the evidence was especially rough, the textures were pretty nasty, to put it mildly. It was surreal watching the blood go down the tub drain and gradually drip off my hands as I rinsed them. I couldn't conjure a single thought the entire time I cleaned it up. 

Whether I was wringing out the clothes or putting the remains in plastic bags, it didn't matter. All I could focus on was the task at hand, with hints of disgust along the way. I ended up finishing at three AM. My hands were wrinkled and shook once I settled. I won’t deny that during the murder I didn't hate it. Slashing into something was fun and it made me feel strong. Still, it wasn't nearly as fulfilling as I expected it to be. Part of it was guilt, but it was mostly disappointment. I’d built it up for years and it wasn't earth shatteringly good or bad.

Overall, I expected to feel more, but it just left me hollow with an uncomfortable itch. There was no way I’d ever be able to see the tub the same way, hell I don’t think I’ll ever use it again. Luckily I almost always shower anyway so it's not too big of a deal. I watched a few horror game videos, trashed everything, changed and went to bed. 

My scalp hurt like a bitch the morning since I kept my hair in that stupid bun. Despite getting less sleep than the past two days I held myself together a bit better in the morning. I brushed my teeth, changed, and had some fried bread before getting on the bus. Regardless I looked like complete shit and struggled to slump into my seat. 

“Rough night?” Abdul asked

“Uh, yeah.” I quietly responded looking to the floor.

He frowned, looking at me with concern.

“You can talk about it if you're comfortable,” he assured me. I contemplated giving him a thinly veiled metaphor or vague explanation so he'd comfort me but stopped myself before my mouth could run a muck. He wouldn't be able to do much of anything and I don’t like opening up. 

“Uhm, thanks but it's something I have to deal with alone.”

He nodded, respecting my boundaries.

“You know, I understand if you can’t hang out today it seems like you have a lot going on.” 

I avoided eye contact with him as he spoke. For once I was feeling hints of guilt toward a person. I wanted to spend time with him, but I knew that I wasn't in the state to do that. 

“Yeah, I think it’ll have to wait, I’m-” I cut myself off before apologizing. A fact about me that should surprise no one is that I hate apologizing. Even when I do feel kinda bad the act fills me with embarrassment.

“You what?” he asked, his eyes telling me that he knew what I was going to say.

“I’m emotionally not great.” I spat out in an admittedly poor attempt to get out of saying sorry. As always he remained calm but I could tell he saw through me.

“Okay, like I said I understand, whatever it is I hope you feel better.” 

I told him thank you and we didn't speak for the rest of the day. At home I changed into more comfortable clothes and brushed my teeth. Unfortunately, I wasn't bouncing back from killing nearly as much as I expected.

“It wasn't even that bad! That thing was on its last legs anyway.” I grumbled to myself, smacking my forehead. I was feeling worse than when I did it which is weird. I ended up spontaneously decorating a ratty tie from the bottom of an accessory drawer to distract myself. It helped me get my mind off things, for a little. I had zero plan, just wanting to make something needlessly complex. Hours that felt like minutes passed and soon it was covered in patches, frills, and beads. I just tried it on when I heard the front door open. 

“Man, that shit was wild!” I heard Brick laugh groggily. I didn't have to see or smell him to know he’d gotten lit. I rolled my eyes, closing my bedroom door. 

“Hey, who’s there?” his friend asked, seemingly referring to me.

“Oh, that’s my little sis, don’t mind her she’s just on her emo shit!” he joked, which pissed me off for the petty reason that I didn't even listen or dress emo. 

“Hey, that’s alright with me, I went through one of those phases,” they responded, their words less slurred than my cousin’s.

I fucked up and forgot to lock it when I closed it so they were able to swing it open, almost smacking my desk.

“Hey emo girl!” they waved as Brick haphazardly pulled them back.

“Okay, man, seriously I think she wants to be left alone.” 

The way his friend looked at me made me uncomfortable. Like they’d snap my neck if I pissed them off. They clicked their tongue while stepping through the door frame.

“Alright, but I gotta say calling her an emo is inaccurate, they look like they watch gore and most emos just say they do.” they flashed a sharp toothy grin. At that moment I began to connect the dots. 

“Easy, she’ll get pissy with you dude, now come on.” Brick warned tugging their opened button pushed him away. They looked me dead in the eyes.

“I don’t think she minds, in truth, I feel like we’ll have a lot to discuss later.” they smiled again, finally walking back into the living room. A chill ran up my spine when I saw them. The sharp teeth, New York accent, unsettling gaze, that motherfucker was the person who recruited me! They were able to get into my place so easily cause my dumbass cousin probably gave them a spare key or the opportunity to make one, and now they were a room away from me!

I dug my hands into my pillow as I contemplated what to do, no matter what happened next, I knew it was gonna be a rough visit.

[cadavaberry]

WTF, reddit

Well fuck me... I'm back. I never thought I'd come back to Tumblr, but thanks to reddit's idiotic new changes, god knows what's going to happen to the site I joined via recommendation from my university's FB page, and actively participated in since 2011.

11 years on reddit and now they're destroying the site the same way Tumblr got fucked in 2013. Is it still like that? I miss old Tumblr, even if I didn't spend as much time here as I did on reddit.

Good riddance to the site that disgraced Aaron Swartz's spirit by removing him from the list of co-founders (Why though? Just to be assholes? Spez strikes again).

I privated my sub & received an automated mod mail telling me to open it or else. Take it from me then. It's all meaningless now.

Worst part is, the APIs they're charging money for are the same APIs that allow people with disabilities to use reddit in the first place. Because reddit's accessibility tools are allegedly so ass that blind folks have to rely on third-party APIs to make it usable. Apparently reddit doesn't even comply with ADA guidelines completely? Please let me be wrong.

Where is everyone going now? I heard it's Lemmy.world, while others are on Discord or kbin or other such platforms. This sucks. I wish there was one centralized site everyone could migrate to. I'm sure reddit will eventually rebuild itself with shitty new rules once it goes public.

I suppose this rule change is a purge for them to get rid of their old userbase to welcome in a new base of people who are easier to control? The kind of people that don't care about tweaking their reddit experience, and are happy to roll with the changes reddit decides are best for the site and/or advertisers.

Speaking of changes, I've never had the need to use reddit mobile apps or Apollo and such, just the old reddit basic ass vanilla theme from when I first joined the site. Once they get rid of that and force the redesign on everyone, I'll probably end up finding the site frustrating and unenjoyable to use and use it less, hopefully.

Anyway, remember spez faked a lot of posts early in reddit's history to make the site look active? Yeah. Expect the same thing to return. The botfarm issue will only intensify. Expect low-effort ChatGPT-generated comments across reddit.

reddit's death will be a slow one, like Digg's. There will be no mass exodus of users. I don't know when a true competitor to reddit will arrive, but it eventually will.

[mintffxiv]

My thoughts on FFXVI - Full Game Spoilers

Ranking 7.5/10

As I only completed it a couple of hours ago some thoughts might change with time and if there are DLC's or other information after time has passed. My thoughts are also emotionally charged and sporadically disjointed but I will try to keep on point. Speaking of points I'm going to bullet point each thought to try and not ramble as I always do so I can get personal catharsis from writing my feelings out. So this is definitely also a release post because I need to get my feelings out.

Also has Encanto spoilers but I've pointed out where but just to add prior so it can be easily avoided.

The first thing I did after completing the game during the credits was check Google which of course took me to Reddit. This,

was the first post I saw and I've been reading and mulling over it since.

From that post and other comments I did feel some relief that Clive is alive. And for me and thankfully others that Joshua and Dion are alive.

I don't think Clive wrote the book, I think it was Joshua. Even though Tomes gave Clive his quill he also said that Joshua was also quite the historian or something like that. Now I could be misremembering but even so I don't think it's Clive who wrote it.

And speaking on that, I don't like seeing the far off future. I always feel sad when magic is gone because it's so important for this type of fantasy style. I get that it's powerful but the world looses it's spark for me. Like recently I watched Encanto with my friends. Avoid this next part of text if you don't want Encanto spoilers.

Encanto Spoilers start:

Like at the end I was so happy they all kept their magic. I mostly always dislike it when stories lose their magic because that's what made them special. That's what symbolised their strengths in a fancy and literally magical way.

Encanto Spoilers end.

I know it's Squares route to always say yadda yadda humans are magical without magic but they spend their whole damn games with magic as a core standard. I know 16 is different to an extent but it feels like overkill and almost making it too Earth-like. Like I myself am not a stable person so I need these stories to boost me up, so coming back down this way doesn't feel complete or good for me. I think it would have been better if maybe dominants wouldn't be possible anymore or just that simply the blight would stop from the aether being sucked from the land and that everyone would have the chance to use magic. Like magic wasn't the problem it was the abuse of magic so getting rid of it feels too drastic and even too easy. Like Ultima made humanity here, so they are magical beings. The flaw if any is that not all humans can use magic so ideally breaking the original crystal would restore balance to the planet. I'm sure the curse would still be present in a way of overuse but that's what happens to anything with overuse. If you exercise too much you're at risk of damaging your body from pushing too hard etc and as it's balanced now the blight would stop spreading and eventually the land would recover especially with the new survival techniques born from The Hideaway.

I get symbolism is present in all Final Fantasy games, but when it comes at a cost of clear closure it's a problem. I was finally feeling relieved that this game had clear intentions. Such as yes the people have sex lol. Yes they swear. Yes they bleed. But suddenly at the end we aren't given that? 15 really did a number on me and not just because of the ending it was a lot of issues I had so I was tentative with this but as I trust the XIV team and as I was going through the story I was starting to believe in a clear triumphant victory. But no it's just vague to be... I dunno why. Like after all the uncertainty in the game having a clear happy ending would have been so so good and appreciated. I don't feel the catharsis I needed and I expected. Even with the hope and logical thoughts that Clive and co are alive I don't feel closure and it really hurts so bad. And yes I do get heavily invested but that's just my way for many personal reasons but even so I've seen a lot of others feel the same way so that is something at least.

At least they didn't kill Torgal. However I wish he had more of a stronger role. He was our soul mate. I understand how he couldn't get on Bahamut's back but I dunno maybe he could have howled and restored Clive's health during a part of the fight, like how our friends voices cheered us on. And their first meeting was lackluster. Especially after we see how tireless Torgal was collecting Clive's things. There are a lot of jarring disconnects at times which sucks considering a lot of things are said to connect characters and events. A few lines here or there would go a long way.

Continuing on that thought, I was really expecting and then hoping for past scenes and gameplay of the brothers childhood but they had to just jam the knife in at the end. Like it just hurts, really hurts and I hate that. I was also expecting and hoping for politics but that all ends at Phoenix Gate. Like the disappointment when we get to the city of Sanbreque and the brothel only to not explore it but then move fast on rails away from it and never to step once in its city properly. Like that grand palace hello!? I was expecting some sort of masquerade stuff infiltration and seeing our mother there only she doesn't know it's us. But nope they just go off to Twinside but then we can't even explore there and then it gets flown up into the sky like? We're only stuck in the hideaway that we can't edit which would have been really cool and when we're not we're stuck in very similar landscapes outside which are pretty but it really makes the world feel small. Especially that the blight has already limited our exploration having the cities we have being taken away from us really sucks. And Barnabas! I was hoping he'd invite us for a grand dinner and during it we'd get drugged and hallucinate because he's aiding Ultima to easily take possession and then it'd switch to Joshua and we'd play as him going with Jill and Gav to infiltrate the castle and rescue Clive. Going further into my fantasy lol, imagine after recovery which would maybe take some time with Joshua reminding Clive of who he is with flashback game scenes, and maybe even after Clive comes back they end up recruiting Barnabas but I know that's definitely a stretch haha! The point is I felt we weren't given the full tour of the world and I know all Final Fantasy games are lineal but this was very on rails only stopping for side quests and with me personally running around to listen to updated voice commentary on what NPC's had to say which was cool but also distracting and long but I didn't mind especially at the time because I was enjoying figuring out the world.

Too many side characters. I really did like the lore account and information for each NPC big or small but at some point some characters really should have been one instead of two. Example Gaute and the woman next to him (I've forgotten her name and cba to look) who gives us appreciation points, should have been one person. It would also give more chances to have a stronger character we could get to know more and bond with.

Along with that was the bond and war table really necessary? I appreciated it at the time and I do still appreciate the effort but this energy could have been used for making the ending not unnecessarily vague or having all the characters voice lined and not being randomly non voiced. Like I thought my game had a bug before I realised it was doing that style for those parts but it was really confusing and not expected!

On reflection I don't think Metaia disappeared or died, I think it went to tell the moon the wish to be granted and will be back again. But if not I think it definitely went to tell the moon which also symbolises a power higher than what Ultima wanted us to believe. I think it also shows when Clive senses and partially sees his dad at his grave showing bonds and life beyond death which is extremely comforting and valid.

It would be great to learn on Leviathan properly. I know it was destroyed but perhaps there still in a defendant. Some have said it could be the baby in Edda or even Gav who is unaware. I think it's probably a whole other character we might meet in DLC however it'll be something to see how to manage that post world without magic or they do an alternative timeline or even go back in the past though that would also be sad because we know they are 'lost'.

I feel they killed off big characters too quickly which made the passing off. I knew Cid would die from his constant coughing blood and also because he's 'old'. Most characters die if they're old in these games or they are full side NPC's that half their character is being the old person. Also because he's too powerful of a character and they need Clive to take the reigns but it would have been really cool if Cid was still alive and we helped him recover, it would have been cool to have quests for him. Benedikta too, I feel like we didn't get enough of her. She drove a lot of the story well and then was cut out. I feel like they were inspired clearly by GoT but as it went on went back to final fantasy style which had a clash of styles hence the vague ending which most likely would have not been so stark if the full game was that style.

Oh and Jill. Along again with the wish that characters had more character Jill is one. I like Jill she is just above the line of being a basic boring pretty love interest. With Ice unfeeling it would have been great to have Clive melt her icy heart and in doing so she would cool his fiery anger. And I feel Clive didn't get angry enough. Like her whole story part was once again on rails, I feel like we got more emotion and character from Dory's side story because we got to read and somewhat experience this horror. We never one on one talk to Jill about our experiences and she hers to us. And on that I really thought we'd start the game from Clive being imprisoned and branded. We really missed out on a lot of lore building that really would have elevated the driving force of characters.

The bar was stupid and a waste of time. This would have been a great moment to be able to de-stress with the cast and get to know them more. Ben Starr Clive's voice said Clive was funny at least to him so I was expecting more funny and light hearted scenes but it's note like moments and it's not super funny or even cheeky just aha yeah. I wish we got the chance to learn about Clive. The whole game is about revenge to getting the choice to live and throughout that Clive is only that. What does he like to eat or not eat like Joshua and his carrots, does he like music, what does he want to do in life aside from this grand dream. We never get full bonding and comfort moments with the brothers, only a small part that ends in the space of a brief punch.

Our mother's death was disappointing. I think because the reunion was so quick and sudden. I was thinking she had more play in the story and also her bloodline thing makes no sense it's our dads bloodline not hers unless there's some unspoken fucked up GoTs shit going on lol. I was hoping when getting the eikons she'd realise that not only was we strong but far stronger than anyone and try to manipulate us to get a piece of our glory only to fall from grace from rejection just like she had rejected us all these years. Death of a character doesn't always have to be actual death but social death would be amazing. The disgraced Ana groveling to her son's would have been so so damn delicious. But naaa she just cuts her throat. As I said I was expecting and now wished for more political gameplay. Even giving us choices of how to approach a crystal would have been cool planning it, giving Vivian's map a really cool play. And having our Uncle help us with politics.

Like with Torgal I wish we got more chances of love with him and Ambrosia. They stayed loyal all this time and Clive doesn't even get the option to pet her.

I wish we got more clothes and not just us but the cast. We go to the desert in our leather clothes. The only person who ages is us and that's getting slightly more hairy lol like Jill looks the same. I thought the side quest for fabric would get her a new dress but nope.

I'm getting a bit fatigued now but I'll try to finish my thoughts. I gave this a 7.5/10 because of the ending. -2 for Clive and Joshua and 1.5 for Dion because although I want him alive I can understand if he did in fact die though the hope of him seeing with his flower and reuniting with Terrence and maybe even adopting the girl would be really comforting.

I think the only way I could fully be at peace is if DLC not only gave closure and a true happy ending but more loose ends tied up and a look to a fresh bright world not some future book with random people. After all the world isn't as important without the people in it and even more the people we know make it what it is. That's even what Clive said to Ultima that his bonds made him stronger, that because of love for others than himself he was able to beat him.

It's a shame, I was seriously contemplating getting platinum but now I don't want to even look at the screenshots I took and I want to delete them which I might later.

But yeah I do hope for clarity. Clive and Joshua and Dion deserve it. They deserve the world they fought for.

As for now I'm trying to recover, even if it was the ending I wanted and expected finishing a game is always bittersweet. I've been crying and felt shit so writing this helped a little to get it at least off my chest.

🗒️Notes: As usual there might be spelling and grammar mistakes. I might add more thoughts later. These are my thoughts and opinions which rely heavily on my strong emotions. I get extremely attached to games and things for personal reasons so my thoughts might come as even more personal because I take it too heart which is just my way I try to get past that but it's hard so I don't want to force myself. Anyway I'm nodding off now as I took meds for a headache lol so yeah. At least I don't have to worry about spoilers which was stressing me not stop whilst playing which made me anxious to complete it.

Also I wanted to make this short but as always it's long but yeah. I wonder if anyone read all this lol either way I got it out so I don't have to keep talking back and forth to myself as hard as I was. But if you did and even more so agree that means a lot because I'm a fragile person and I know I'm weird or I just don't manage things well so when I see people agree or I see others have my similar thoughts it helps. Anyway sleep now, I've been yapping for 2-3 hours.

New additions

I do like Clive and Jill together and how they were mostly portrayed. Same as most of the relationships but I just wanted more. I know they are busy with the plan and also have to be to defeat Ultima in time but they even said at the end Ultima would wait lol so totally could have time before then or before Clive was ready. I feel it was done well for a FF game and in general Japanese RPG games but the bar isn't very high so can't really compare. Anyway more talking moments would have been top.

[aita-polls]

AITA for spending 1/3 of my paycheck on a Friday the 13 flash tattoo

**I am not the OP and do not claim the statements below to be my own** [Link to Reddit Post]

Okay so my husband (34m) is pissed at me (33f) for spending about 1/3 of my paycheck on a tattoo. So backstory to start. I have been unemployed for the last year, to focus on college work and my mental health, and I recently started a new job. When I got the job my husband and I agreed that I would give him 25% of each paycheck to help with bills. He also agreed that this arrangement would take effect on my second paycheck and that the first was mine to spend as I wish. Great, love that for me. Here lies the issue. My paycheck was around $350, I immediately put $50 into my savings. I have been wanting a Friday the 13th tattoo for years but I have never found one that jumped out at me until this year. A local artist put out a flash sheet and I fell in love with this really cool piece. So I booked an appointment and got the tattoo. It was $100. My husband has been lecturing me about how stupid and impulsive it was and how I shouldn't have spent 1/3 of my paycheck on something as stupid as a tattoo when I have a credit card bill to pay. He is barely speaking to me now and it's making me feel like shit. I'm so happy with the tattoo and I still have plenty of money to pay my bills and sustain me until my next paycheck, but he keeps bringing it up and telling me it was stupid. So AITA for spending 1/3 of my paycheck on a tattoo?

(More information from OP’s comments below the cut)

(INFO: Will you doing this require him to bail you out financially? Is he going to have to spend money he's earned to pay your bills, feed you, etc because you decided you wanted a tattoo? Or are you able to pay all your bill, food, rent, etc with the remaining $200?) Nope! I took in to account the bills and everything else I needed to pay before deciding to do it. My total personal monthly bills are less that $150. Everything else we spilt the cost of, and that is what my 25% will go towards. We own our house, my gas bill is less that $10 a month (I drive a moped) and my phone bill is $80 a month. I budgetd 150 for "bills and misc expenses"

(How is it possible that your half of all shared monthly bills comes out to $88?) It's doesn't. My PERSONAL bills are about 100. 25% of my income will go to my husband to put toward bills and the rest will be for my own bills, savings, and whatever else. 30% of my husband's income goes toward our shared bills like the mortgage, utilities, groceries etc. Thay 30% also includes his personal bills like gas and credit cards.

(Did you still pay your CC bill?) I did still pay my cc bill (I didn't even use the cc before I started at the new job once it was initially paid off so I wouldn't have a bill to pay while unemployed) I also put money into savings even though he told me I didn't need to since this first check was less than half of what I will normally be making. He made almost 3 times what I make and even though I will be giving him 25% of my pay (honestly I will likely give him more than that) I know that he will likely just put it in a savings account instead of using it for bills.

The credit card bill was less than $80. I used it sparingly because I knew I didn't have the money. IT was mainly for gas and medical co-pays and medicine. {(If your credit card bill was less than $80 then you should have paid it off)} I paid it off right after I booked the tattoo appointment

(That doesn't make sense, you say he makes 3 times what you do. If you get 350 a week, that's 1400 a month. That would mean he makes 4200. So how does he have 5k left over ?) The 350 was less than half of what a normal paycheck will be. Which is one of the reasons we agreed that I didn't need to give him the 25%